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He Said/She Said
He said . . .. I don't know why you wear a bra; you've
got nothing to put in it. She said .. . You wear pants don't you?
He said .. . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . That's a good idea - you stand by the
ironing board while I sit on the sofa.
He said . . .. What have you been doing with all the
grocery money I gave you?
She said . Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
On a wall in a ladies room . .. "My husband follows
me everywhere" Written just below it . . " I do not"
Q.How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the
world does it take to do the dishes?
A.Both of them.
Q.How does a man show that he is planning for the
future?
A.He buys two cases of beer.
Q.What is the difference between men and government
bonds?
A.The bonds mature.
Q..Why are blonde jokes so short?
A.So men can remember them.
QHow many men does it take to change a roll of
toilet paper?
A.We don't know; it has never happened.
Q.What do you call a woman who knows where her
husband is every night?
A.. A widow.
Q.Why are married women heavier than single women?
A.Single women come home, see what's in the fridge
and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in
bed and go to the fridge.
Q.What is the one thing that all men at singles bars
have in common?
A.They're married.
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so
beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her."
But God," the man says, "why did you make her so
dumb?" God says: "So she would love you."
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